WOW I haven't written anything is such a long time! Well I dont have a whole lot going on to write about, really. I am missing my family this time of year. I am so far from any of them that care about me. It is so hard to have a great relationship when you cant spend time together!!!
As Christmas approaches, I am reminded of family and how important they are to me. Having no children of my own, it is so hard to feel that I matter to anyone, except of course, my wonderful husband. But I know any of my sisters, and most of my brothers, would do anything for me if I needed them to. As I get older, I realize I maybe wasnt so smart to leave the family that loves me and move up to the north woods. Gosh it hurts when I see them in pain, or in trouble, or lonely...and I cant help them. What was I thinking when I moved away? Oh, it has been a good life up here, for sure. But you just cant replace being down the street from your sisters, no matter where you go!!!
Ok enough boo-hooing from me. Looking forward to the day when I am close to you all again,,,,,
love, me

Today, Mother's Day, I want to say thanks to my mom. Thanks for being such a great mom to all 11 of us kids! Thanks for loving us even when we were difficult. (Some of us still are!) You always were kind and loving even when we weren't so nice in return. You were so unselfish to give your whole life to your family and not ask for much in return. You and dad created some beautiful children mom, well most of us (ha ha). You did without so we could have a good education, fun vacations, lots of good food to eat, and birthday parties with cakes (I remember the wanting a cake with the doll in it and the cake was her dress and YOU CAME THROUGH!)

Although I never had children of my own, I do appreciate how hard you and dad had it raising all of us. Most people cant even imagine it, and you pulled it off with so much love, it still amazes me! I spent my life not wanting to have anything to do with children, and tried to be so different from you. Now, as I have told you, I strive to be more like you. I can't imagine a day when you will not be here, who will I turn to to know how to live? Or who will make me feel better when I screw up? Unconditional love. That's you mom.
I may not have shown it when I was younger, but I really do appreciate all you and dad have done for me (us) over the years and I want to thank you, mom. Thanks for all the love. I know it wasn't easy, and you sure did a great job. Lots of love back at you MOM!!!!! You're the GREATEST!!!!!

Life continues in spite of everything...

The two year anniversary of my dad's death just passed. My family was all very sad of course. We also just buried one of my dad's best friends in the same cemetary. They had been friends for 40 years or so. And today I go to my Godson's 30th birthday party. Strange, how things keep going on, people keep living, even when there is such loss. Sad, happy. Sad, happy, sad. No wonder we are conflicted. No wonder people need anti-depressants. No wonder there is religion, pot, alcohol, bars, parties and God. Each of us chooses how to get through this life. Some of us need more help than others. I have decided to stop judging other people on how they choose to make it through. And I hope they stop judging me too. I only have to answer to the Man Upstairs, as they say. Meanwhile, I am just trying to make up for a lot of bad. A lot of bad.....Thank God I am forgiven.
One of my sisters said something like how much she liked being accepted for just who she is. I agree. I have someone (besides God) who accepts every part of me, the good with the bad, the blessed and the rotten. Unconditional love. I married him! My dad was like that too. He truly loved each of us in our family, and boy do I strive to be more like him. Life goes on.....

My Valentine

Let me just tell you about the wonderful man I call my Valentine. When I met my Bubba, I was a wild child, out of a long since high school relationship and marriage (24 years with my former spouse). Party after party, wild and untamed. I met him and my heart was sunk, pure and simple. I haven't looked at another man since. I met someone who reminds me so much of my all time favorite man, my dad. My Bubba is so kind, sweet, slow to anger, patient, caring, loving, everything I could ask for all wrapped up in a big hulking man who is just one big teddy bear. I am not the easiest person to be around all the time. I am cranky, impatient, moody, bossy, and just plain needy. The good Lord knew just what I needed when he sent me Bubba! He loves me through all my bad. Every time. I have spent 20 years with him and have only heard him raise his voice maybe twice. Did I mention that I am the luckiest woman on the planet? I am loved, and I am lucky. I hope you all may someday meet your Bubba. But I'm not sharing mine.

Buddy---good bye my friend

I am sad my friend Buddy (Casmir Ruzycki) passed away this week. He has been my friend since I was 15 years old. He was married to one of my best friends, Sue. He was always a lot of fun and tried to always do the right thing. (well except a couple times!). ...Buddy taught me to always take great care of my music collection, and to try and keep my anger in check. Most of the time that works! He was always the considerate host, always giving and cheerful, even when he was hurting inside. He taught me about lasting friendships. He was loyal to Detroit even though he followed us out to Arizona---he took our word for how nice it was, packed up and came out---even though he had never even been west of Chicago before! Bud could always be counted on, no matter what. He was loyal and true to his friends. He stayed with Jerry until the moment he died, being his friend. I will always have a spot in my heart for Buddy, and will miss him a LOT. A toast to you my friend, please take good care of dad, Jerry, Suzie and Carol. See you again....

Happy 2010

Happy New Year everyone. i am trying to figure out my goals for the new year! I think of course number one is to work on my spiritual life. I have been searching for a church this past year. Not very hard, I admit. I have attended a few different faiths with my friend Wendy and trying to listen to God about where I belong. Its hard, because I think so many religions are all talking about the same thing, the same God, and the same rules for behaviour! Why do they all get so hung up on "we are the ONLY right way".....I guess whatever your path to God you have to feel its the right way. BUT I dont think any church is the ONLY one.
I guess I will keep looking.
Another goal is to keep on track with my weight and exercise program. I am getting stronger every day, and I hope to see results each month. Please keep me strong Lord, and keep on getting me to the gym 5 days per week!!!!!
Also I want to be a better wife to my sweet Bubba. And a better daughter to my wonderful mom, who is so lonely. And a better sister to my siblings. They are my family. I don't have any children and I am so lonely for family companionship. I feel like their kids are mine, but here I sit so far away. What to do?????/
Wishing a happy year to everyone I meet. And a pleasant life to you all!

Whew!

Well we made it through the Christmas Holiday here! We really enjoyed ourselves. I made lasagna for Christmas Eve and we had my friends Wendy and Mark over. Christmas morning we opened gifts, and scored really well! Bubba got a camera and his own laptop, and I got an iTouch. So we are both high-tech, whoopie!!! Made a pear puff pancake for breakfast, then a ham. We went to my brother Frank's for dinner, and I took lasagna over there. It was a very nice holiday. (notice its all about the food?). My sis Linda had our name, and even thoough we all donated to brother Dennis this year, she sent little gifts for us to open on Christmas Eve. And she sent me some cookies, as I cant bake to save my life! Thanks, Linda! We picked Julie's family and we sent little gifts and candy and I made them a Christmas wall hanging that went somewhere!
Although Christmas was beautiful, we are sad about the people who are not with us this year. Mostly dad and little baby Kaden, my niece Jacquie and Rusty's baby. Its so sad, and our hearts ache for everyone involved in their lives. I pray that they feel our love for them and that they know we love them. A lot.
I had some missionaries over yesterday who were spreading the gospel. Bubba sort of listened from the other room. I thought he wasn't paying much attention until they asked to pray with me, and his eyes popped out of his head. They left a book of Mormon and will return next week. Who knows????
Well thats it for now.